February 13, 2009

Well, I hope what I am doing is going to not only help me, but help others who have been trying for a very long time to lose weight and just can't seem to git-R-dun.

I have always been..........FAT. There, I said it! It didn't even hurt! When I was in the third grade I wore my first bra. I was laughed at and made fun of and THAT hurt. I had teachers that called me "lard bottom." One teacher in particular would not allow me or another excessively heavy (FAT) girl in our PE class to try to climb ropes. We were singled out and put in special education PE class where we walked a balance beam that was about 6 inches off the floor. It was quite embarrassing.

If any of you have heard or remember the old exercise record, "Chicken Fat?" Well this particular teacher would play this and make this other gal and I stand in front of the glass so they could "watch us jiggle." My mother went to the school many times because of this teacher and finally had it out with her and the principle. Whew! What a show down.

As I gained in age, I gained in weight. My teenage years were blessed with absolutely no acne, and a beautiful complexion, long dark brown hair, and bright blue eyes. I was soooo looking forward to my first date. It never happened, well, not until I turned 34.

I just kept eating and kept sitting inside and watching TV. I was not popular because I was fat and no one wanted to play with me as I grew up. I was poor and fat. Really a cursed child as it were. Except that my mother loved me.

I would and did up until just recently stash food for later eating, when no one was around. That never really changed until just a few days ago.

Well, fast forward to age 34. I was 5 feet 4 inches, weighing in at an obese 185 pounds. I met my future husband and we were married. We moved far away from my family and everything I knew. This changed my perspective a lot and I began to think about my body, and I started trying to do more to lose weight. I have a very handsome husband and have never figured out why he married me, but he did. I got all the way down to 165! WOOHOO! I could even wear shirt dresses! I LOVED IT!

But many things have happened since that time and now, nearly 15 years later, I am trying......... for the one hundred and ump teenth time to lose weight. I have more motivation this time, but I am starting over. This then is my journey. With this blog, I hope to help myself, and that person out there who sees things from the same side I am on. If I help you, please, let me know that. That will also encourage me. If I don't help you, or you have negative comments, please don't post them here. This is not a place for negativity. This is a place to get rid of the past as well as the pounds, and negativity does not help. I'm not telling anyone to do what I am doing. I am merely telling you what I am doing and what is happening with it.

And so we begin.

I started on Tuesday, February 10, 2009, at a height, again of 5 feet 4 inches, and weighing in at a MORBIDLY OBESE, 282 pounds.

As I get time, I will come back and fill in the menus that I have had for these past days and then continue them daily as I can.