Wednesday, February 18, 2009

February 18, 2009

Morning everyone! I'm down another 2 pounds! Woohoo!

Yesterday was pretty much a disaster with that migraine. Boy there is nothing like the pain of a migraine to ruin an otherwise perfectly good day. I took my medicine, wrapped an ice pack around my head and went back to sleep for about 1-1/2 hours and that helped, but I had that "blah" feeling for the rest of the day and man do I hate that! I didn't eat anything until supper last night and then I had 2 pieces of roasted chicken and didn't want anything else.

I need to go check and see where I left off. Be right back!

Okay, I left off with that warm smell of bread. Most things in my memory start about the time I was 3 years old. My mom and dad and I moved into a very little house, a 2 bedroom house that was right in front of the railroad tracks. Mom always said that if we ever had a derailment, she'd have an engineer in her kitchen! The tracks were very close. The trains would come through there and literally shake the house, but you know, I don't ever remember the trains waking me up at night. I guess you get used to things like that. Now, I can't sleep with the tiniest noise. Everything wakes me up (except my alarm clock! LOL). So I sleep with ear plugs in (my husband has obstructive sleep apnea and snores really loud!).

Our backyard at that little house had an old shack for a garage. I was told never to go in there because it was too dangerous, too much stuff to fall on or the building itself could fall on top of me. Did I listen? Was I a kid? Of course I went in there. I liked digging through the old stuff and coming up with my own tales of whether or not someone had committed some horrible crime in there. My mom and sister used to watch the Friday Night Horror show with Alfred Hitchcock, so I was always thinking something sinister had happened out there in that old garage. But, sure enough, someone would find out I was in there and I would either get sent to my room or get a spanking, cause they thought I had run off or were afraid I might get cut on some of that old broken glass on the floor.

Mom was too busy working to clean it up, and at that time my dad had become disabled. He had an enlarged heart. Mom always said that if he leaned forward, you could see the edge of his heart below his ribs. Like I said earlier, he died when I was 7, so something like that, a little kid wouldn't notice. He had rheumatic fever when he was young and they say that's what started the enlarged heart, plus mom said one night when he was sick and couldn't seem to breathe enough, in the middle of winter, he went to the front door, against her wishes, and he took several big gulps of that cold air. She believes that had a lot to do with his heart being enlarged.

One of my favorite memories was with dad. My sister was 17 years older than me and while she was there, before she got married the first time, she and I would watch dad and when he wore a muscle type T shirt, if he had even the slightest, tiniest rip in it, we would sneak up to him, stick a finger in that hole and start ripping! We tore the shirt off of him and left him in just the neck and arm bands! Sometimes I think he wore those shirts just because he knew we would do that, and he loved that attention we gave him, and we loved the attention he gave us.

Dad had to stay home and he became a pretty good cook! Especially his gravy. Mom raved about his gravy until she passed away. Said she never could make gravy like dad's. He had to have meat for every meal, bacon, or sausage for breakfast had to happen, or maybe ham. But anyway, he stayed home to take care of the house and mom worked. He was always there to get me ready for school. He made sure my fingernails were clean and my hair was combed, which mom made me keep in a "ducktail." I hated that haircut, but it was easy for dad to take care of.

Well, more tomorrow............................

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

February 17, 2009

Sorry folks, I'm going to have to miss today. My more than occasional migraine has hit me like a sledge hammer. I'll be back tomorrow with more.

Monday, February 16, 2009

February 16, 2009

Well, just one more day until a week is finished and I am down 11 pounds! I am sooooo loving that!

Yesterday my menu was simple again:

B: 2 eggs, fried in a bit of oil.
L: 1 low carb Slim Fast shake.
S: About 6 ounces of fried catfish nuggets.

I don't have much time to write today, but last night we went to a friend's house and while there, this lady had baked sugar cookies and made popcorn and coffee. I did not take any cookies or popcorn, although I would have LOVED both! LOLOL I did take some coffee and that was a mistake. I can't drink coffee that late at night anymore and try to sleep. So, new lesson learned. Don't drink coffee after about 3 p.m. unless I want to be up all night.

Well, let's see now........................

When my mother had gathered all of these different veggies and fruits in, boy did she can! When she started working at the hospital, she had to work on Saturdays, but never on Sunday, so she would can on Sunday, all day. My favorite part was when she would get the tomatoes blanched, she would hand me some to peel and some she would do. Then they all went into the big pot and she wanted them all crushed. I GOT TO DO THAT!!!!! I would put my hand in the bottom of the pot and grab a tomato and SSSQQQQQUUIIISSSHHH and feel that tomatoe pulp go through my fingers. I don't know why that was so fun to me, but I did enjoy it!

She made the most wonderful homemade grape jelly and she also made homemade bread. Our whole family enjoyed that bread. I liked being home the day she baked. After the bread dough raised for a while, she would pinch off a small bit of it and then kind of spread it out to the size of a dinner plate and poke some holes in it and while she was doing that, a cast iron skillet was heating on the stove. She fried that bread dough in there. Now most folks just call it fried bread. My mother called them "dough dodgers." When they got dark brown and finished, she would put them on a plate and we each (whoever was there) would get one and smear butter (oleo in our house) all over it, and then either top it with her jelly or with peanut butter and jelly! OH MAN! You talk about good eating! WHEW!

My family fought over mom's bread too. Now when she baked, normally about once a week, she would bake about 15 to 20 loaves cause so many people wanted it. Her slices were about twice the size of a normal slice of store bought bread, and just as light as could be. The fights would start if more than just she and I were there. Some of them loved the crust, others the inside soft part! And when it is hot and fresh, man is that something. We had times where someone would rip the end off of a loaf and then the rest of us would grab it and pull the insides out and it was left with just crust, and the others would tear that apart and share it! What a deal. As kids, we used to grab the inside part and squish it all down into a little dough ball and put that in our mouth and that was like our "chaw"! You could suck on a dough ball for, oh..... probably half an hour! LOLOLOLOL And mom would laugh about all of it! She was pleased to provide for everyone that way.

What memories..................

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Oh wonderful joy! What a great feeling! I got on the scale this morning, and I had hit that first goal! My intentions were to lose 10 pounds by February 28. WELL! Here it is, February 15, and those 10 pounds are GONE!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!

I had a leisurely cup of coffee this morning, and then I got up and fixed my breakfast. My husband let me sleep in this morning. I suffer from migraines and had one all day yesterday, so he knew I would feel like getting a little extra sleep, especially with my medication I take for them. Anyway, after I got up and had my coffee and fixed my breakfast, I went for a walk. I went for a walk yesterday too, with my husband, but it was a nice, slowly paced walk and we didn't go probably more than say maybe half a block each direction. It was mainly to look at part of our fence. This morning I hitched up my German Shepherd, Heidi, and off we went. Morris, one of our farm cats, decided to follow. We moved right out! I think I walked about 1/4 mile each direction. It didn't take long, but boy did it feel good!

When we turned around to come back, Morris caught up with us and he just drove Heidi crazy! LOLOL They really like each other, and Morris was walking along Heidi's front leg all the way back, rubbing on her and trying to play, and Heidi was just SO frustrated with him! LOLOL But bless her big old heart, she never tried to do anything to him. She just hopped over him and kept up with me!

Well, where were we from before? Let's see now..... Oh yes, my mother's cooking. I guess I have to step back a few steps on that to say I am the youngest in a family of 4 girls. My father passed away when I was 7. He was an alcoholic, a smoker, a womanizer, and basically was only around when he wanted to be. My mother was a very hard working little woman. She worked hard to pay for the bills my father left her with. She worked lots of jobs. She was the housekeeper at the junior high school in our town, at that timed called a Matron. (okay, so I'm dating myself here). That was her main job. She also sold Avon, Tupperware, Stanley, and modeled clothes for a clothing party, it was called Jer Maray or something like that.

She was all of 5 feet 1 inch, and in later years, lost down to 4 feet 11 inches. Mom would get up sometimes at 4:30 in the morning, sometimes earlier, go to the basement and wash a load of clothes on the old wringer washer, so I could have clothes for school and she could have clothes for work. Then, if there was time, while the clothes were drying outside on the line (we didn't have a dryer), she would walk the railroad track behind our house and pick raspberries, or go to a friend's house to pick strawberries. Then it was off to take me to the babysitter and she went to work. After she finished that job, we headed out for the Avon, Stanley, Tupperware route, or to one of the parties she modeled for.

On the weekends, we went to the strawberry patch and picked, starting at 5 a.m. I went and helped (as much as a 7 year old will help). We picked for halves. We picked strawberries there, had another farmer who let us pick for halves on green beans and peas, and 2 more other places let us (in season) pick pears and plums and apples. Mom had no room for a garden, but that sure never stopped her. At night she would can as much as she could, and if she couldn't can it that night, she would juice it up or cook it to the stage of canning, and it would be put in our basement (which was always nice and cool) until the next evening.

Mom finally got a different full-time job. She worked in the housekeeping department of the hospital, and she began cleaning houses for other people. Rarely did I ever hear her complain, and after the death of my father, never did she ever go out with another man. She had me to raise (my sisters are older than I am and were already married and out of the house). Her one luxury was to have her hair fixed. Every 2 weeks she went to the beauty salon and had her hair done up in a French knot. My mother was beautiful. I always thought so, still do, even though that good little woman is gone.

But I believe that mom cooked lots of food and allowed me to eat so much of it, simply to make up for the time she couldn't spend with me. She wanted to give me something, so she gave me food. She gave me her love, but didn't feel like it was enough. Looking back, I just feel like this was what happened. We also used to have a special treat every 2 weeks. One lady she cleaned house for paid a little more than the others. Mom worked for her in the morning. She cleaned from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. on that house and then we had 2 stops; the grocery store and the gas station. The grocery store was a Hy-Vee and they had a deli. You could get a main dish and 2 sides plus a roll for $1.00. We each got a plate after the grocery shopping was done, and then we went to the gas station and filled the tank for the next 2 weeks, went home and sat down and ate our "fancy" dinner from Hy-Vee. What a treat! It was also special because mom and I sat at the kitchen table and ate together............................

Saturday, February 14, 2009

February 14, 2009

Well, here it is February 14, 2009. Happy Valentine's day everyone! I am down another 2 pounds, which makes 9 pounds total since the 10th! I'm very pleased!

Okay, now don't shudder and gasp everyone! I'm doing Kimkins. There has been a lot of negative publicity to it. People talk about it being "not healthy." Well, when I have tried it before, I lost weight, but didn't stick with it, because of other commitments, but let me tell you, for a person who weighs 282 pounds, is facing a family history of heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, all of which can occur because of obesity, THAT is "not healthy."

There may be other ways to lose the weight, but in my opinion, for me, this is the way to go. I cannot stick with a low calorie diet that has no taste and that makes me work long hours just trying to figure out what I'm going to eat, not to mention the time I spend purchasing, preparing to cook, cooking, and then finally sitting down to a big plate of mostly nothing, or worse yet, a small bite of something that is REALLY good, only to find myself having to work up the will power to push away from anymore of that WONDERFUL whatever it was I was eating, because IF I want to lose weight, I can only have this much. So then I go away from the table, sad, depressed, belly growling because I'm still hungry, and have the rest of the time until I can eat again, all that time spent in thinking about my next low calorie, low fat, low salt, low taste meal.

I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!

I am doing what is basically known as Kimkins Experiment. Now before I go any further, I must say, I have modified even Kimkins program, so this is not the exact plan! If you want further information on her plan and the ability to judge for yourself, please click on the link in the upper right corner of my blog. It will take you to the Kimkins website, where you cn get all the information you need and decide for yourself.

Okay, that said, I am basically doing a program called Meat and Eggs. I eat the eggs for breakfast and the meat for supper. Yes, it is most definitely very low calorie. But the breakfast I am eating, is the same breakfast I have eaten for probably 40 of my 50 years!

I eat no veggies and no fruit. Again I must repeat, that is NOT what any low-carb program tells you to do! This is MY choice! BUT! Eating this way I am not hungry, except for just a few minutes before I eat. I can back away from the table because I know, that because my calories are so extremely low, I can go back and either have more eggs or more meat. Eat till you are satisfied. That's what I do. And I am satisfied. Plus I drink my water, and I know everyone says the same thing, but it DOES help!

Well, I promised my menus, so here's what I have done.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009
B: 2 eggs, fried in a small amount of oil
L: 1 Low Carb Slim Fast Shake
S: Venison, about 6 ounces
Water, water, water, water
Supplements: Centrum vitamin, Citracal with magnesium and D(5 tablets), 3 ibuprofen (for my polymyalgia rheumatica).

Wednesday, February 11, 2009
B: 2 eggs, fried in a small amount of oil
L: 1 Low Carb Slim Fast Shake
S: Scrambled ground pork (fried), about 6 ounces.
Water, water, water, water
Supplements: Centrum vitamin, Citracal with magnesium and D(5 tablets), 3 ibuprofen (for my polymyalgia rheumatica).

Thursday, February 12, 2009
B: 2 eggs, fried in a small amount of oil
L: 1 Low Carb Slim Fast Shake
S: 1/2 pork steak, (fried)
Water, water, water, water
Supplements: Centrum vitamin, Citracal with magnesium and D(5 tablets), 3 ibuprofen (for my polymyalgia rheumatica).

Friday, February 13, 2009
B: 2 eggs, fried in a small amount of oil
L: 1 Low Carb Slim Fast Shake
S: Rabbit, about 6 ounces (baked)
Water, water, water, waterSupplements: Centrum vitamin, Citracal with magnesium and D(5 tablets), 3 ibuprofen (for my polymyalgia rheumatica).

As I look at my menus, I see a few things that become a constant. That is my breakfast and lunches are always the same. So are the ideas of water and supplements. The best plan of all (for me) is one that I don't have to do a lot of work at. Something that is incredibly easy to follow and something that can become a routine. Is it boring? No, not for me it isn't. Not after 9 pounds gone! That for me is exciting!

Well, back to my past. I have so many memories, and I'm going to go through a lot of them during the time I blog. But the one main theme I remember is that most of the good times that I have had in my life have all been around food. Seems like we can't do anything without eating while we do it. I'm sure a lot of you are the same.

My mother was an excellent cook.............. at some things! LOLOLOL She could make a mean fried chicken, and mashed potatoes, and buttered whole kernel corn, with chicken gravy, and baking-powder biscuits.

This was our NORMAL Sunday dinner. If someone came in, they grabbed a plate and ate the food, if they didn't come in, we had this same meal until the food was gone. Now, I always liked the white meat, so the breast was mine! Next, I piled a heaping batch of mashed potatoes. Onto that I piled a BUNCH of corn, and then on top of THAT, the gravy so it covered every inch, and of course I had to have at least 2 of those biscuits. Folks, that was before I was even 13 years old.

More coming....................

Friday, February 13, 2009

February 13, 2009

Well, I hope what I am doing is going to not only help me, but help others who have been trying for a very long time to lose weight and just can't seem to git-R-dun.

I have always been..........FAT. There, I said it! It didn't even hurt! When I was in the third grade I wore my first bra. I was laughed at and made fun of and THAT hurt. I had teachers that called me "lard bottom." One teacher in particular would not allow me or another excessively heavy (FAT) girl in our PE class to try to climb ropes. We were singled out and put in special education PE class where we walked a balance beam that was about 6 inches off the floor. It was quite embarrassing.

If any of you have heard or remember the old exercise record, "Chicken Fat?" Well this particular teacher would play this and make this other gal and I stand in front of the glass so they could "watch us jiggle." My mother went to the school many times because of this teacher and finally had it out with her and the principle. Whew! What a show down.

As I gained in age, I gained in weight. My teenage years were blessed with absolutely no acne, and a beautiful complexion, long dark brown hair, and bright blue eyes. I was soooo looking forward to my first date. It never happened, well, not until I turned 34.

I just kept eating and kept sitting inside and watching TV. I was not popular because I was fat and no one wanted to play with me as I grew up. I was poor and fat. Really a cursed child as it were. Except that my mother loved me.

I would and did up until just recently stash food for later eating, when no one was around. That never really changed until just a few days ago.

Well, fast forward to age 34. I was 5 feet 4 inches, weighing in at an obese 185 pounds. I met my future husband and we were married. We moved far away from my family and everything I knew. This changed my perspective a lot and I began to think about my body, and I started trying to do more to lose weight. I have a very handsome husband and have never figured out why he married me, but he did. I got all the way down to 165! WOOHOO! I could even wear shirt dresses! I LOVED IT!

But many things have happened since that time and now, nearly 15 years later, I am trying......... for the one hundred and ump teenth time to lose weight. I have more motivation this time, but I am starting over. This then is my journey. With this blog, I hope to help myself, and that person out there who sees things from the same side I am on. If I help you, please, let me know that. That will also encourage me. If I don't help you, or you have negative comments, please don't post them here. This is not a place for negativity. This is a place to get rid of the past as well as the pounds, and negativity does not help. I'm not telling anyone to do what I am doing. I am merely telling you what I am doing and what is happening with it.

And so we begin.

I started on Tuesday, February 10, 2009, at a height, again of 5 feet 4 inches, and weighing in at a MORBIDLY OBESE, 282 pounds.

As I get time, I will come back and fill in the menus that I have had for these past days and then continue them daily as I can.